Books
Industry Reviews
Journey to the Darkside: Supermom Goes Home
The book's backcover blurb jokes: "It will have moms ... laughing out loud--which is a good thing, because otherwise, they might have to cry." I couldn't agree more!
Kathy Buckworth is the author of two "SuperMom" survival books and popular humor contributor for several Canadian parenting magazines (among many other accomplishments). This time she gives readers an insight into what happens when a working mother decides to stay home with the kids - trading coffee-room politics for PTA-meeting backstabbing, dealing with corporate B.S. to literally wiping sh*t.
How does an ex-Supermom survive it all? For one, with Kathy's tips, and second with a great deal of humor (much of which is decidedly of the self-deprecating variety). We learn how to dress, drive, think, and cope with the stay-at-home lifestyle, much of which means caving to the stereotypical standard: "buhbye" Jimmy Choos, Forbes Magazine, and sporty two-door; "hello" Reebok, Barney & Friends, and the dreaded minivan!
Buckworth pokes fun at the negative aspects of a stay-at-home-mom's life and leaves the feel-good justifications aside. I think this is what's missing here; if you take away the humor, you are left with a bleak picture indeed. Anyone considering starting a family should take this book with a boulder of salt, or it will prove to be the most effective birth control you'll encounter. You may end up frog-marching your man to the vasectomy clinic before the end of the first chapter!
For those of us already in the trenches, at least we can have a good laugh at ourselves! Buckworth's strongly satirical style may seem a little over-the-top for some readers, but I personally thought it was a riot. Go ahead - laugh at yourself for once! It may be the only comic relief you'll have some days.
ChickAdvisor.com
October, 2007
By page six of our next mommy memoir, however, I was wondering aloud where the author, Kathy Buckworth, had been all my life. And I was also flipping to the back of Journey to the Darkside: Supermom Goes Home to see if I'd be treated to 300 pages of her wickedly funny observations. No such luck. Buckworth, having written fewer than 200 pages, is that rare breed of author who knows when a story's told.
The good news is there are prequels to this book that I can go out and find. This is actually the third in a series of "supermom" books, from back when Buckworth apparently had a less than rewarding corporate life and four (count 'em) screaming kids to come rushing home to.
Journey to the Darkside is a guide to quitting work to stay at home and join in the "increasingly brutal blood sport" of stay-at-home mothering. She's quick to point out that office politics can't remotely prepare us for the joys of the backstabbing world of PTA parents. She doesn't seem to have a nanny, Bugaboo or a spin class teacher but, boy, is she ever able to hold forth on these trappings of domesticity.
Journey to the Darkside is the rare exception to the rule of supposedly funny mommy memoirs (the rule being that people should stop publishing them). Buckworth is perceptive, smart and absolutely hilarious.
Better yet, if she ever wants to tell you every last detail about her pregnancy, childbirth and early days of diaper changing, pull up a chair and listen.
I bet she'll have you in a helpless puddle of laughter on her not-so-spotless floor in no time.
The Toronto Star, May 13th, 2007
Christine Sismondo
In a world where "most of us are still working off the fat from our first child, who is now entering Grade 6", says parenting humourist Kathy Buckworth, there's a list of errands never to attempt with children in tow. As seasoned parents know, "even infants who can normally sleep through their three-year-old sister banging pots and pants against the tile kitchen floors will awaken at the sound of a foot being exfoliated." Buckworth offers up a healthy serving of wry wit. The most satisfying chapter includes fantasty ripostes to that most hated follow-up question, "So, what else are you doing (aside from being a mom)?"
Chatelaine Magazine, May, 2007
In Journey to the Darkside: SuperMom Goes Home, Buckworth outlines dozens of strategies for keeping your cool when your coolness has long since eroded. This outrageously hysterical instruction manual for abandoning the office in lieu of full-time parenting follows up the popular Secret Life of SuperMom and SuperMom: a Celebration of All You Do.
Finding meaning in mayhem
Buckworth knows from experience that there is nothing more meaningful than raising (to quote Scarlett O’Hara) a passel of brats. Here she gives detailed instructions on finding that meaning under piles of holey socks and empty pizza-pocket boxes.
Now when the telephone jingles, it won’t be for you. No more frantic fumblings lurching into pantyhose while hopping onto the bus. Oh, and no more lunch breaks. With the same comic easy manner that Buckworth explained the juggling act of Firm and Family, she helps you transition out of minute-meetings and dry-cleaner stops and into your kitchen and living room with no way out except to ferry the kids to endless orthodontics appointments.
SuperMom by any other name
“Domestic Diva” is a catchy sounding title, but Buckworth warns that job descriptions like this one “don’t even begin to describe both the responsibility and the tedium of the job mandate.” She suggests a bevy of more precise titles, from “Bodily Waste Control and Clean-Up Manager” to “Vice President of Budgeting, Splurging, and Justification.”
Chock full of helpful, cheery how-tos like the “To Do List from Hell” and “Interesting Conversation–an Autopsy (of sorts),” Buckworth reveals the lighter side of heavy duties.
There’s plenty of moral support: “For the most part, your days will be totally bereft of anything interesting.” You won’t be alarmed when the hot topic of your workday is endless gossip “about the personal lives of the children’s swimming instructors.” You’ll effortlessly avoid oxymorons like “family vacations” and skip the “Gap mom” or “aging hippie” wardrobe in favour of clean tracksuits. And with no commuting to the job, there will be plenty of time after dirty diapers and body piercing arguments to feel like sex.
This rollicking adventure through laundry piles, geometry sets, hockey practice and spilled chocolate milk is something that every SuperMom-come-home should keep handy. Your copy should be accessible for every emergency and the stylish pink and yellow cover will look resplendent next to the fruit bowl containing the browning bananas—on hand for those 24 hours of the day that you’ll feel you’re going bananas.
Women Can Do Anything (www.wcda.com)
May, 2007
In this book (Journey to the Darkside), Kathy Buckworth examines the switch from Supermom (working mom) to stay-at-home mom in a refreshingly fun and bold way. The gossiping and backstabbing, the competitiveness, the volunteering and the PTA are just a few of the many scenarios she guides us through. Kathy Buckworth has an uncanny way of taking the situations that we deal with every day and bringing them to light with a style that will leave you nodding your head enthusiastically in agreement and feeling so relieved that someone out there feels the same way.
This book is laugh-out-loud funny. It is such a joy to see someone explore a subject which is nothing short of a minefield and do it with such honesty and humour. She also hands us a great deal of food for thought about how raising children has changed so much over the years. We see children being driven around to various appointments, children being helped with their homework and projects to an unhealthy level, children not venturing outdoors unaccompanied and of course the dreaded playdates. Whatever happened to children playing outdoors, heading over to their friends houses unannounced and then vanishing into the nearest field or play area to play as a group. An unsupervised group at that.
While this book will naturally appeal to any mom or mom-to-be, I think anyone would get a kick from reading it. I have to comment also on the excellent way the author presents some of the information in the book. Bulleted lists and tables make this book even more of a pleasure to read. I couldn't put it down and I am sure you will feel the same.
Charlene Martel, Litrerary Blogspot.com
If you feel your choice to trade in your briefcase and camp out at home with the kids resembles moving to a foreign country, then Kathy Buckworth’s latest book is your must-have travel guide.
Kathy turned her “maternity leave into an eternity leave” after the birth of her fourth child. Journey to the Darkside: Supermom Goes Home recounts how Kathy adjusted from the Supermom life, balancing a demanding career in marketing with three children to the relentless, repetitive homer life caring for her four children full-time. Part personal account, part guide, Journey to the Darkside provides some light-hearted yet often honest guidance to career-minded moms for whom staying at home presents a whole new world of challenges.
The journey starts with your decision to get off the supermom track. Expecting life at home to be your new vacation destination right? Wrong. Kathy shares the many ways in which the reality of being an ex-supermom in no way compares to what you may have imagined. Let’s take for example her Top Twenty Annoying Things about Staying at Home. Number 8 was my particular favourite. “Your perceived intelligence drops by at least 50 IQ points. You may have run the computer science department at MIT before you decided to stay at home, but two weeks into the new job and your kids will be asking Dad for help on the family computer.”
Travelling forward the book navigates this new world of over-zealous homer-types. I love Kathy’s analysis here. “A strange new breed of super-stay-at-home-moms has emerged. These women are in the post-career phases of their lives, and their competitive spirit lives on through school volunteering work, soccer team coaching, “playdates,” marathon homework sessions, birthday parties, and general sneering at and bullying of those mothers who dare not to take the stay-at-home role seriously enough.”
Your final destination is reconciling your former identity with your new job description and adapting yourself to kids who, despite your best efforts, have very different ideas about how your “home office” will operate. I particularly appreciated the sections entitled “Where is the Productive in Reproductive?” and “Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back.” Oh and if you’re at all concerned about how your marriage will weather the storm pay particular attention to “Interesting Conversation: An Autopsy (of sorts).”
Journey to the Darkside is a light, easy read filled with Kathy’s signature satirical humour and honesty. I found I spent much of my time nodding my way through this book, if not laughing until my sides hurt. You’ll laugh because you recognize yourself. You’ll appreciate the book because it confirms that you are not the only imperfect ex-supermom or homer on the block. Erica Ehm, creator of the Yummy Mummy Club said it best “You’ll laugh so hard you’ll cry. Then you’ll cry again when you realize she’s talking about you…”
Reading Journey to the Darkside however also left me just ever so slightly uneasy. I was afraid to admit that humour aside many of her less than pleasant observations were often dead on. Kathy is clear that the grass is hardly greener, regardless of what side of the fence you’re on but I think many of us like to outwardly justify our decisions to friends and former colleagues. The title Journey to the Darkside is no misnomer. Kathy leaves her deeper and yes darker thoughts about being at home exposed for all to see.
The same reasons I felt uneasy though were the same reasons readers will appreciated Journey to the Darkside. In order for us to have a good chuckle and feel reassured, Kathy had to leave herself vulnerable, admitting her newly acquired life, her kids and marriage were less than perfect. Not only that but she has managed to make a new career out of being able to laugh over it. Her candor and sense of humour forces those of us who have secretly taken our stance in the mommy war too seriously, to lighten up and have a good laugh at ourselves.
Moms can also appreciate her ability to juggle four children and author three books at the same time. In addition to Journey to the Darkside Supermom Goes Home she has written Supermom a Celebration of all you do and The Secret Life of a Supermom. I always look forward to receiving Kathy’s monthly Funny Mummy column which appears in parenting websites and online magazines across the country (including Newmarketbaby of course) and the U.S.. She contributes to many of Canada’s premier parenting publications and was a driving force behind the newly established Canadian Lit Chicks. She joins author Ann Douglas and several other well-known female Canadian authors at book signings and panel discussions across the province. If that weren’t enough Kathy is now the resident expert of Slice Network’s show Birth Days and makes guest appearances on various local and national talk shows. She sits on the board of the Toronto Symphony Volunteer Committee and is a sought-after guest speaker. Oh, and did we mention she was also the recipient of the Professional Writer Association of Canada Award for Excellence in Humour? Okay all your overly-competitive ex-supermom types; resist the temptation to ask where she finds the time!!
We asked. Kathy says she writes in 20 minutes stints in between picking up and dropping off kids, all of whom are involved in activities like hockey, skiing and dance. Her life sounds so busy you’d think that putting in eight or so hours as a marketing director before coming home to the kids doesn’t sound so hectic after all. But if you put aside all her dark warnings and read carefully you’ll notice she prefaces it but saying the journey is worthwhile– followed of course by her winning brand of wit.
“Staying at home with children is not a career, full stop. It is however an extremely meaningful way to spend your time – and an increasingly brutal blood sport. You’ve just signed up to play. This is your story. A journey to the dark side. Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
Newmarketbaby.ca
Reviews for The Secret Life of Supermom
Now that pregnancy has been given an honest appraisal, it's on to Kathy Buckworth (who got her magazine writing start in the pages of this publication!) to open our eyes about the rest of the deal. The Secret Life of Super Mom: How the woman who does it all...does it! (Sourcebooks, 2005, $14.95.) Buckworth asks us to "imagine what would be captured if a film crew followed the average Super Mom around...they would witness the times you wipe up spills on the kitchen floor with your stocking feet...the amount of food slurped from the saucepans while making dinner, without washing the spoon clean in between...the amount of precious artwork one throws out on a daily basis..." She says that Super Mom can admit to letting the children eat in the family room to avoid a fight, and then giving them a stem look when their father discovers gooey marshmallow all over the carpet. Super Moms often "count the minutes until the children's bedtime and then gaze at them adoringly when they're asleep." Super Moms even "drink diet Pepsi for breakfast to get a caffeine jolt without having to go to the trouble of making coffee, but disguise it from the children by putting it into a mug." Buckworth kinda takes the pressure off, doesn't she? And the mask, too. Of the tough (impossible?) job of being a Super Mom, Buckworth says, our task is to be "not perfect..." but "super." Which pretty much means doing your best...most of the time. I can do that, I think.
Leslie Garrett,
Today’s Parent Toronto
November 2005
Supermom Unmasked
Today's Parent Slice of Life contributor and mother of four Kathy Buckworth offers sardonic musings on the job-family stretch in her new book, The Secret Life of Supermom: How the Woman Who Does It All...Does It (Sourcebooks).
Buckworth's observations and advice are free of illusions ("You can now blame your pint-sized stain maker for all of the stains you make yourself"), but full of laughs.
Today’s Parent, June 2005
The Supermom Supermyth
As the mother of four who's held a variety of senior corporate positions, Buckworth is well acquainted with the disquiet that can invade any peaceful moment the working mom can find. There's always the feeling, she says, that one should be doing something - usually for somebody else. Disturbed by the media images of supermoms, celebrity moms and soccer moms, Buckworth decided, after the birth of her fourth child, to expose the truth of the Supermom myth. The result is The Secret Life of Supermom, a funny, subversive and insightful look at the modern mother.
(taken from an interview in Women Can Do Anything, February 2006)
Reader Reviews
I picked up your book at the library in a rush (my 10 year old son was pestering me to leave as he had already chosen his summer reading selections for the week) and I am chuckling knowingly the whole way through. I am 3/4 of the way through the SuperMom book and yesindeedie, I see myself! Or at least my former self... I worked for 15 years during when children 1 and 2 were born, but was laid off when child #3 arrived (for reasons totally unrelated). There is so much truth in your book, both about parenting and family life, regardless of whether one is a working mom or not. It's such a comfort to know that there's someone out there who not only has had the same experiences, but will in fact share them in print, unapologetically, for the whole world to see! So now I'm working through your articles and will lurk on your website for updates. Thank you for putting your hilarious voice in writing to share with your sisters in parenthood. Thank you for bringing me some enjoyment and giggles this week. Now I had better run upstairs to see what the toddler is getting into...
Meg, real SuperMom
I just finished your first book and wanted to drop you a note. After earning an MBA & spending almost 15 years in a career in banking, I decided to become a stay-at-home mom w/my new son. I'm also a little older, as I had him at the age of 36. He'll have his first birthday this week. Yes, it's taken me the better part of this last year to read your book, but then again, I think you'd understand how little free time there is for reading anything beyond diaper or formula containers! I wanted to write to you to applaud your book and the ideas you mention. Although I'm a "homer" now, I never expected to stay at home. I've wanted a career since I was a little girl. (Some girls played "nurse" or in a toy kitchen. I played "office," & even had my own briefcase.) Your book addressed many, many of the concerns I've had during this past year. Ironically, while my friends who work and have children never gave me grief for deciding to stay home, it was those mothers who were already staying at home who constantly criticized me. Perhaps criticizing isn't the correct word. Many were very condescending in an I-told-you-so way. To this day they can't understand why I don't kneel at the altar of Gymboree or Mommy & Me classes. They think I'm wrong to be able and willing to spend time w/my child to try to teach him things, rather than sign him up for the many classes that 6-18 month olds can take. (I really didn't need Gymboree to teach me how to use tummy-time!) Your book was practical, amusing, and a pleasure to read. I've debated getting it for a few of my friends, but they're all Supermoms of one type or another, and don't have the time to read...yet! Let those of us in the US know when you're coming here...near the Chicago area would be great!
Shiela, real SuperMom
I was browsing through the parenting section of my local Barnes & Nobel when your book "The Secret Life of SuperMom" just called out to me. After only reading the "Day in the Life" on inside jacket, I knew this was a book that I had to buy. I've only read the first few chapters and have already laughed out loud dozens of times. Thank you for writing such a real and witty book about the lives of working moms. I am the mother of two boys ages 4 and 1, expecting my third in a few months, and work full-time as an attorney. Your book sadly, or happily (depending on your perspective) captures much of life! It's comforting to know that others are in the same boat. I will recommend it to all of my "SuperMom" friends. My concern is
this: I saw the title of your next book is "Journey to the Darkside:
Supermom Goes Home." Please don't tell me that you've hung it all up for domestic bliss. I'd feel quite betrayed!
Thank you again for the much needed laughter. I look forward to reading the book.
Heather, real SuperMom
What a great way to unwind after a "supermom" day! I laughed out loud many times while reading this book and smiled when I identified with many of the "supermom" moments. This book reaffirms that we are all putting our best foot forward in trying to raise our kids. There are challenges for working moms, and stay-at-home moms, the important thing is to maintain perspective and learn to find the humor in all situations. An easy and enjoyable read - recommended for all - "supermoms", "homers" and "the others"!
Cory O, real SuperMom
The Secret Life of Supermom... was such an extremely funny book to read that I couldn't put it down. It's not often that I laugh out loud while reading, but this one had me in stitches. There are so many instances/circumstances with which all moms can relate to, it really makes you realize we are all in the same boat. I would recommend this novel to anyone who wants to have a good laugh, as well as get a few good parenting tips!
It was a pleasure to read and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Heather McC, real SuperMom
Here's a book that really captures the truth about the life of a working mom. It is intelligent and witty. I found myself laughing at loud over and over again. I couldn't believe how funny and candid some of the parts were. The book makes you wince and laugh and laugh and laugh all the same time, recognizing the truth about being a supermom. Great to give to a working mom who needs a laugh over the summer! Dina V, real SuperMom
A real laugh and a half! A very funny and easy read. Put the book down and you can easily pick up where you left off without hesitation. Full of witty, straight talking short stories with lots of good advice about how to deal with some of real life's one-of-a-kind "only happened to you and your family" type situations, but guess what, everyone will be able to relate to it.
Ann C, an Other
Can you wait till Labour Day? This book will save you. It's a hilarious account of the trials and tribulations of child care -- written with such a great sense of humour by a young woman who is right in the midst of it all. Even a review of the chapter headings is hilarious. Kathy Buckworth is here to tell first time supermoms that they are not paranoid; "we are laughing at you!" "Holidays are Hellish Days." "We're outnumbered! The Joys of a Large Family." You can't help but read on and be entertained by a very funny sensibility. Toronto SuperGrandMa
This is the funniest book that I've read on being a modern day mom. It's so true that you wince and laugh at the same time. This book is intelligent and witty and you'll find yourself sharing so much of it with friends, using the author's phrase "what's with that!" to describe these supermom truths! Great as a gift for working moms needing a laugh! I enjoyed every minute of it!
Amazon.ca review
©Copyright 2005 Kathy Buckworth. All rights reserved.
