You may have heard that Christmas is really all about children. It is. It's all about them. They'll tell you so themselves. It's very easy to get swept up in the consumerism and overzealousness of the holiday period, in the eternal quest to provide the 'best Christmas ever' for our darling angels -- although, frankly, how we're ever going to top the first one is beyond me.

To help new and old parents alike, I'm offering some 'expert advice' from a couple of hearty troupers who have been through the holiday season more than once and lived to tell the tale. Through trial, error and major meltdowns in shopping malls (sadly, not by the children), these helpful tips will help you get through the holidays with a smile -- or at least with no criminal charges pending.

Overspending is an easy trap to fall into when children are exposed to countless hours of merciless promotion of the latest have-to-have-it toy or gadget. Shoving old ladies aside and standing in line at midnight to acquire one of the must-have toys is an amateur's mistake. No two-year-old really needed the Tickle Me Elmo during that fad. And remember Cabbage Patch Kids? Not the phenomenon, but the really fun toy that provided endless hours of fun? Exactly. Limit your kids to three choices that Santa, or you, is expected to bring. This will allow for parents to choose the one gift they can a) find and b) afford. But, if you have been unable to secure the No. 1 gift, make sure you've given advance notice to the child to avoid a major trauma Christmas morning.

Ah, Santa. No mistake that this is a palindrome for Satan. We all remember Cindy Brady asking for her Mommy's singing voice back and the hapless Santa unable to resist. Resist weird and unattainable requests. Have the kids write their lists in November, suggests Eva, a mother of three young children, and make them understand the either/or concept of wish granting. "This certainly puts a stop to the ever-changing Santa list and puts the kibosh on those last-minute Santa requests," she says.

Visiting relatives is no picnic for anyone, especially your unsuspecting children. If at all possible, try to ensure all of your living relatives have either renounced Christmas or live in a quarantined country. Failing this, Dina suggests showing the kids a picture of the relatives they will see prior to the visit "Tell them a little bit about the person and suggest some things they can talk about with the cousin they've never met before," Dina says.

Finding appropriate gifts for children is not easy. If you are fortunate enough to be asked by thoughtful relatives what your children would like for Christmas, don't make the mistake of saying, "Anything you buy will be fine." It won't be fine and you'll have tears or derision on Christmas morning to deal with. Send a list in advance. Gift certificates can be a great gift for children who are old enough to appreciate the value of money, but also old enough to go to the mall themselves. Monetary gifts for those under 10 just make more work for Mom and Dad.

Santa can be practical, too, a fact parents can use to their advantage. "My Mom taught me that Santa doesn't just make toys, he also has a deal with the dentist and the doctor and people at the crayon and school supplies stores," says Susan. "The other key thing she taught me was never ever use the same wrapping paper that Santa uses."

Other quick tips:

If you leave cookies and milk out for Santa, make sure there are crumbs left on the plate, the glass is empty, and the half-eaten cookie is in the garbage can the next morning. Ditto on the carrot for the reindeer.

If you send letters to Santa at Canada Post (North Pole, H0H 0H0) for more than one child, hold on to the responses as they come in to ensure everyone gets one back. You may have to pen one yourself to avoid abandonment issues.

Try to keep to regular nap and bedtime schedules if possible, yours as well as the kids'. Cranky is as cranky does.

If you miss the gift card and can't figure out what came from who, don't stress it; just thank the giver for "the gift". Chances are they don't remember what they sent either.

Kathy Buckworth is a Mississauga freelance writer with four children aged 2-13. She has survived many Christmases through deception, manipulation, bribery and more than a few spiked eggnogs. Her first book, The Secret Life of Supermom is being published by Sourcebooks Inc., in Spring, 2005.

Comments welcome at kbuckworth@rogers.com

THE MISSISSAUGA NEWS