It's not a comparison of wealthy developed nations versus war-torn or ravaged third world countries. In North America, particularly in larger cities, it's all about the 'big city' versus the 'burbs'. Both have reputations, myths, realities and a certain image residents apply to themselves which one must consider when deciding where to live.

Unapologetically the largest city, Toronto is the typical Canadian big city. It has a considerable number of typical and stereotypical suburbs which handily provide Torontonians with a sense of superiority, one they can cling to as they dream about one day owning a fantasy house in the city (i.e. one with a private driveway).

Ask Torontonians about the benefits of living in the city and they will rattle off the romantically overused list of arts, culture, restaurants, shopping, the hustle and the bustle of being 'in it'. Ask any suburbanite about the benefits of their domain and you're likely to hear about space, the quality of life, more value for your dollar and, mostly, convenience. Clearly very different standards of measurement.

Many Vancouverites will tell you they love their city because they can swim in the morning and ski in the afternoon. Logistically, this would be one of the toughest tricks to pull off in a city that believes highways are aesthetically damaging.

While theoretically performing this Herculean task is possible, it's the very idea of the 'could' that has people looking past the overpriced houses, impossible commutes, increasingly frustrating and crumbling bridges and the influx of preferred-climate-seeking homeless people.

In Toronto, the theoretical 'could' life has also formed. Is this purely a defense mechanism employed by its overcrowded, overpaying residents, or is it a more intrinsic feeling that should be admired in these eternal optimists?

The more a big city household starts to resemble the suburban ideal (i.e. two parents, two children and a dog), the more theoretical and less real their situation becomes.

Theoretically, all Torontonians walk or take transit most places and say they love it. They dash out for milk at the corner store, they jump into cabs to head to the trendy bar down the street, they stroll through museums with their children on a Sunday afternoon and they meticulously shop for cheese on Saturdays in ethnic and busy market places. They eat at owner-operated restaurants, treat their children to the theatre and international sporting events.

Is living the theoretical life in Toronto more satisfying than living a practical life in the suburbs? The generally prescribed life in the suburbs is one of sterile, cookie-cutter homes, expanses of industrial malls and big box shopping monstrosities. Residents drive everywhere, commute unfathomable amounts of time, eat at bland 'American' restaurants and go to multiplex movie screens, community hockey rinks and pot luck dinners as the extent of their cultural experiences.

Suburbanites do most of their shopping at shopping malls. In a country where adverse weather conditions affect upwards of 30 per cent of our days, this is a practical choice. The Theoretical Torontonian eschews such conspicuous and indiscriminate shopping methods. Who then is jamming the real urban malls (Eaton Centre, Yorkdale Shopping Centre) every Saturday?

Suburbanites do drive almost everywhere. This is mostly due to the fact that the roads are quite driveable and free-flowing for the most part, the space between houses logistically accrues extra land between destinations and there is ALWAYS a free parking spot at the end of the journey.

Suburbanites do watch most of their movies at huge multiplex theatres. The Theoretical Torontonian is known for his support of the Toronto Film Festival and also ventures out to watch small (but important!) films at many of the city's smaller film venues. Yet 'small' movie venues like the Eglinton Theatre have closed, mostly in part to their low revenues, while the two huge multiplexes, miles down the road at Yonge & Eglinton, thrive.

The feeling of could is one which sustains many through times of adversity, but embracing it as a way of life requires much attention and most importantly, the ability to share with those who have given up the fight and moved to the suburbs.

Kathy Buckworth is a freelance writer, whose first book The Secret Life of Supermom will be published in April, 2005.

THE MISSISSAUGA NEWS